


Torpe

by CC_Nix



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aight fuc- it, Akechi Goro Needs a Hug, Akechi Goro is Bad at Feelings, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Drama & Romance, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Rough Sex, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:28:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25525198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC_Nix/pseuds/CC_Nix
Summary: After running away five years ago, the flightless crow himself is found by nameless cat under a crimson umbrella. “Mr. Akechi,” he calls out. The odd switch of calling each other by their first names only to revert back to last names and honorifics said a lot.He was still hurt by the fact that Goro threw him aside and ran to a foreign country roughly five years ago. Despite the subtle callout, Goro takes it well, he simply allows it to pass right under the rug until the cat holds out a letter.(No, its not literally about a cat and crow. Although, it does sound pretty cute.)Or Goro’s inability to express romantic feelings to Renren due to fear of vulnerability. And mending a relationship
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. The Crow’s Prelude (Part I)

**Author's Note:**

> This might be a slow burn about fixing a broken relationship between the two boys. I have a pretty linear idea of how his story will go.  
> Also keep an eye for allusions and metaphors, because I sure love making those!
> 
> I used the name Ren, because 1) its easier [literally 3 letters] and 2) I LOVE when Ryuji calls Joker “Renren” freaking adorable
> 
> Follow me on Twitter [ @cocobutternix ](https://twitter.com/cocobutternix) for updates and fanart

From the moment they first met in that small council room to the present day that Akechi reads over a report of the other’s current life, a fact remains, Goro was always drawn to Ren. Even now—when standing on one of the many peaks of Mount Hehuan—while holding the life of the other man with his red trembling hands, he muses to himself: _if only we had met earlier then maybe, just maybe things would have turned out differently_.

Goro did himself a favor when he tore the pages of boundless details into tiny, rough patches of squared pieces and set them free. He’d watch as the winter wind sent each one of them flying like white birds into the mourning sky, fluttering along to the hum of Clair de Lune, later to be swallowed by the large heavy fog that crawled by the foot of the mountains—never to be seen again. And when the Sun had completely left the sky, Goro began to skip his way back to his tiny cavern; to shed his dark coat and scarf in place for a dress of sackcloth and ashes to continue his gentle hum. 

Snow began to fall half way there. His hum didn’t stop, in fact it morphed into something louder with the notion that it was the Taiwan’s countryside during winter: nobody would hear him attempt to sing his lungs out to some classic foreign opera. He feels demented, yet he’s free. Joyfully singing Dido’s Lament brought a bizarre feeling to his stomach that when he would look up at the stars, for the first time in his life he felt himself far from this reality.

Slowly he came to a stop, only for a few seconds to light up a cigarette to fill his lungs with warm tobacco. It was initially a struggle with the snow and the slight cold breeze, but he managed and continued to make his way back to his resting place.

However, his sparks died by the time he arrives near his cramped shack, his eyes pick up on a blurry rendering of a person standing outside his door holding a crimson umbrella. Red had brought so many unnecessary memories: Ren was one of the few many. Goro drew his breath tightly, he was exhausted from skipping and loudly singing on steep country roads, his vision shakes.

He didn’t want his vision to focus, however, despite all his effort the picture was painted in pure lucidity.

Ren stood under a light post, in front of his shack, trembling from the cold, lips pressed into non-existence, his unsheltered eyes of a domesticated cat reflecting the little light they managed to capture. 

Goro assumes Ren must’ve outgrown him by an inch or two as he draws near, the man calmly turns to face Goro. His previous smile is now replaced with a glare and smirk, similar to a robber caught before it was able to make its sweet escape (one would even assume Goro would willingly pull his arms up to fully commit the comical role). Ren reflects a look as soon as he notes that he was going to be met with some old hostility.

Goro watches as the younger man mouth _Mr. Akechi_ loud and clear. He is taken aback for a bit. Akechi thought it was fairly late in the game to address each other as strangers. The odd switch of calling each other by their first names only to revert back to last names and honorifics said a lot: seeing how close they used to get under Ren’s bedsheets. He hypothesized Ren was probably still hurt by the fact that Goro threw him aside and ran to a foreign country—with another man’s wife and children—roughly five years ago.

Despite the subtle callout, Goro takes it well, he simply allows it to pass right under the rug until Ren holds out a letter. Akechi’s face draws neutral, like an immediate switch from playful to serious, his eyes gently stream down to the item held by Ren and back to the young man’s face.

“She said you were ignoring her calls and letters, so she asked if I could personally deliver it to you.”

Akechi remained silent while unconsciously pulling his cigarette to his lips. He draped an arm around himself and nervously tapped his foot, as to say _get on with it_ , so Ren took the liberty to continue.

“Running away from this…” he thought lightly on his words, unafraid to hurt him, “Would be doing exactly what your father did to your mother twenty-four years ago.”

Akechi eyebrows starched upwards in surprise thinking to himself, _has it already been that long?_ He pulls the cigarette away from his mouth, tapping the lingering ashes off, unaffected by what Ren had said. He had already deduced that he lost this game as soon as he decided to completely ruin Masayoshi’s life; a new cycle had begun, and Akechi could _possibly_ be where his father stood all those years ago.

Akechi thinks for a second, inhales another puff of tobacco, and with his spare hand he lifts his arm to reach towards the man. Ren complies and extends his hand to pass over the letter. 

Abruptly, Akechi instead goes for Ren’s wrist pulling close to the point of being inches away from one another.

He puts out the cigarette against the stone wall of his place and breathes out, “Come now, Ren,” the other man flinches from both the familiarity with his name and the sudden predatory behavior.

He continues, “You seriously didn’t fly over here to just hand me a letter?” His eyes gleam with lust, “I bet you missed me all those years, you must be starving for a bit of touch” He pulls closer to whisper into Ren’s ear, “I bet you’re looking for something sweet and nostalgic. So let’s stop beating around the bush, _Ren_.”

Akechi feels the man shiver, he pulls away to estimate how much he hit accurately. And sure enough, Ren was red and his face revealed hunger for a little physical contact. Ren shakes Akechi’s hand off and responds by pushing Akechi against the door while roughly locking lips together. 

* * *

A few minutes later, Akechi would find himself between Ren and the head of the bed’s frame; his hands desperately holding on a thin metal pillar of the frame and clawing at Ren’s back while being shamelessly pounded by something evocative of a dog in heat.

Ren sat on his legs, hands holding brunette by the hips as he used him to get himself off. “Ren,” Akechi whispered loudly, picking up on Ren’s slowing rhythm (his hands were giving out), “let’s switch positions…” With that, Ren rested on the bed frame—couching by a thin pillow—and left the older man to ride at his own brutal pace. 

It’s been a while since they unraveled themselves from each other’s warmths. Goro hated to admit that he was glad Ren found him and even happier to have their bodies connect again. Now the winter night was filled with more than silence and Goro’s singing; the silence now being occupied by pants, moans, the calling of each other’s names, and the squeaking of the old bed.

Ren nearing his climax pulled Goro by the waist and leaned up to gently kiss him. That soft, simple touch melted Goro. His eyes drew shut, feeling both bodies shiver, his mind lingered in ecstasy for a while until he blinked himself to the realization that he still loved Ren. He whimpered, praying to the gods that Ren didn’t see the pure naked side of him. Akechi decided to close the walls around him again, despite Ren looking for a sign of reciprocation.

He found none.

  
**Torpe** \- An inability to express **_romantic_ ** feelings to someone due to fear of rejection, vulnerability, or judgement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes... I did get that word from somewhere in tiktok


	2. The Crow’s Prelude (Part II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation the the previous chapter.

After cooling down, Akechi left Ren to rest on the bed. He moved to a textiles rug near the fireplace deciding to finally open the second letter he’s revived this week. Ren quietly turned to look at his love from the bed, he was mesmerized to see Goro covered by a blanket, sitting by the fire as he read the letter—he clearly missed Goro. He wasn’t sure what contents in the letter contained, but from the frustrated sigh and nervous behavior Goro exhibited privately to himself Ren could only conclude _no bueno_.

Ren wondered whether he should say anything. Without any restraint he broke the silence, “you know… I didn’t come here only to have sex with you Goro—”

“What happened to calling me _Akechi_?” He interrupted.

Ren rolled his eyes at Goro’s petty behavior, “Akechi.”

“No honorifics?”

“None.” Ren cut back.

Akechi thought you himself as he set the letter down and turned to look at Ren. 

“I came with the intention to hopefully bring you back,” he said.

Akechi let out a loud ‘hmm’. It was unusual as he always had something quick witted to say. Something had changed within the older man. Whatever happened since he left Japan, it had left Akechi at the end of his ropes. He finally looked away, “And if I don’t want to go back.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

“You’re an idiot.” Goro said, breaking into a soft smile.

And Ren thought, _maybe, just maybe we can make things work for us again._


	3. A Crow Still Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren recalls the night from five years ago and Akechi makes a final decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bro so... there is a reversible scene, As in they switch places.  
> So it went to Shuake to Akeshu
> 
> If you’re not into that, then avoid whats inside the brackets.  
> 

**Five Years Ago, 2nd of February.**

Ren was pulled back to reality when he heard the ringing of Leblanc’s door. He was helping Sojiro quickly close up for the night and didn’t bother greeting the incoming guest. He knew Sojiro would take care of it, simply usher them away saying something about already closing up for the night, until he heard a curious “Oh” from the middle-aged man.

He quickly dried his hands to see which of his friends had stopped by to give him a piece of their mind. However, his eyes met with the dark red pearls and Ren caught himself from mimicking the older man’s surprise.

Sojiro sighed and went for his awkward ‘rub of the neck’. He checked himself out for the night, leaving the _kids_ alone. Goro stepped out of the way to let the man out and that was that. With Sojiro gone, Ren assumed he was in for a long night.

“Coffee or are you going to pass?” He asked, waiting for Goro to invite himself in instead of awkwardly standing by the door.

And he did.

Akechi gracefully walked over to Ren, “The former,” he said, “I’m afraid with that rat out the way I have to one final piece to wrap everything into an elegant gift.”

“A Trojan Horse for Shido?” Ren lets out an amused laugh, “seems like your revenge plan is going just fine.” He moves in to close the distance between the two, expecting something close to a _thank you for putting up with my bullshit_ and _now let’s take our relationship seriously_.

But when Ren moved in—unable to read the other’s facial expression—it made a thing deep inside of him spark with worry. Now thinking back, Goro wouldn’t normally skip out on a cup of coffee. After all the previous rough patches, he isn’t sure what to do next.

“Hey,” the young man finally spoke, “let’s go upstairs, I’ll play with you for a bit.”

What took place afterwards, Ren would lament.

* * *

Akechi smiled handsomely, “Say Ren, will you let me hold you this time?”

“Wait, what?” Caught off guard—yet strangely distracted by Akechi’s flirtatious nature—the boy tried to push some distance between them. “You mean to fuck me?”

Akechi smirked, “Yeah, if I can handle it, then surely you can too.” He pulled away to give Ren some room to breathe and think about it. “It would be like a…” He looked up to browse his mental dictionary, “a special thing between us two, you’d be the only one to enter...me… and I,” Goro struggled to find a way to eloquently phrase things without trying to sound vulgar.

“Enough, I get it.” Ren stopped him, “Just let me...clean myself, I’ll be back.” He couldn’t help feeling innocent once again, yet mostly nervous.

While at the bathhouse, Ren remembered how Goro’s first time went. He memorized the slight discomfort the other showed, but he reminded himself that he trusted Goro. 

So when he reached the last step on the stairs, he fully came to terms with what came next. Goro lazily sprawled on the bed smiled when Ren returned. He sat up and reached out for Ren. 

The older boy would spend the next few minutes prepping—like the other one did with him, except this time they both learned from their first time—patiently adding finger after finger until Ren felt comfortable to take the real thing.

Ren moaned in surprise, Goro stopped and looked at him. He chuckled nervously and nodded, so the latter continued, only to be stopped by Ren once again.

“You’re kidding, right? You know that was just the tip.”

“Fuck no, baby,” Ren was typically nonchalant, but he couldn’t help begin honest with Goro, sometimes breaking the mood, “I think you suck at prepping my ass.”

“Well I think you are a whiny little bitch,” Akechi claimed in annoyance wanting to continue, yet he stopped when he spotted the stress building up, slowly pulling Ren into a small panic. Goro leaned in and kissed Ren, roughly, to distract him as he pushed the rest in. It helped. 

Goro then whispered softly that he would start moving and boy underneath him nodded in approval. 

It took a while, but when they got there, Ren let himself go along Goro’s violent pace. Despite being winter, it felt like a blazing summer for Ren. It felt good being fucked while jerking his front off. He even got pleasure from seeing Goro lose himself while fucking him, and when he came for the first time inside of Ren.

* * *

It became exactly what Goro said, a _special_ play between the two. Except it wasn’t, it was just a little momento for Goro.

If he had known that he literally meant to _play with him_ _for a bit,_ Ren would have denied Akechi the pleasure of leaving with a slice of him. Nevertheless, the past deeds had already been done. He couldn’t do anything but look back. 

Back then Ren took the liberty to call ‘ _for a bit’_ foreplay; he let himself be dragged upstairs by Goro and let himself be pushed onto the bed.

The following day, Ren found himself waking up alone. The crow was long gone and he couldn’t guess where the devil had run off to.

He always found himself at limbo when it came to Goro—it was constantly a game of cat and mouse. He figured it would be best to visit Maruki in attempt to mend his heart. The following days lapped into months and then years. It was by luck, the only reason he found Goro was due to small sprinkled pieces of evidence that the boy crudely left behind.

  
  
So when Ren woke up to that same scene as before, he felt the panic rain over him. That familiarity mocked him. _Now, how many years will it be until next time?_ He questioned abruptly. His heart beat raised as he pulled into a sitting position, bringing his knees slightly towards his chest, his breathing quickened without warning. Ren began to tremble in frustration, he was losing to his emotions. He shut his eyes.

He heard the door open, “Oh good, you’re awake.” Ren looked up, to see a slightly drunk Akechi holding up a bag. “I brought food, courtesy from my landlords.”

He pulled the bento boxes out of the bag, placing them on the old floor table, and they began to eat. Half way through, Akechi seemed to become sober enough to talk.

“Are these landlords the ones that have been taking care of you?”

“Correct. In exchange that I join the husband—once in a while—for drinks, he allows his wife to cook food for me.” He responded, stuffing a piece of meat into his mouth.

Ren looked outside the window, “This early in the morning?”

“It’s the afternoon,” he corrected the other, “not to mention that it keeps one warm during these times.” The brunette cleared his throat loudly, “Anyways, how did you find me?”

He gave Goro a cheeky smile, “Futaba and I caught your private investigator stalking me.” He chuckled, “Though, Sojiro was actually the one to make him talk. Something about a lonesome man in Taiwan checking to see if his lover was cheating on him I believe...”

Akechi stared at Ren’s nonchalant face, despite his eyes doing no good to hide amusement he truly felt. His face turned sour at the realization that Ren must’ve asked the man to send the report to not raise his suspicion bar. S _ome private investigator,_ he grumbled in his brain. He stared down at his food for a moment until he broke silence recalling the contents of the report, “How do you know Kiyoko?”

“Kiyoko Itou?” He raises an eyebrow, “Or should I say, _Kiyoko Shido_ …?”

Goro’s eyes move to meet Ren’s.

“She’s currently mentoring under Yoshida, hoping to make up for her father's errors. However, with the scandals surrounding the surname, Shido, she played it safe and now uses her mother’s maiden name.” Ren finishes the last bits of food before he continues, “She’s a bright girl, you should be proud of her. Sorta reminds me of you.”

“Of course she does, I practically raised them in my father’s stead.” He hesitates, “Does she know?”

“I don’t think so, actually, that might explain why she—” 

“Ren” Akechi cuts in, not wanting to hear the rest.

The young man waits for him to continue. At times like this he knows Goro is questioning his next movements, so he lets him finish sorting his thoughts.

“I’m going back.”

“Good, you’ll be in for quite a surprise.” He shifts himself, “Also,” moving to invade Goro’s privacy, “If you leave me again, don’t be expecting a second chance.”

Goro smirked, “I wasn’t hoping for one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully it makes sense, I personally suck at writing ok (minus the rhetorical essays)
> 
> I just want to get this part over with so I can continue with the flashbacks of them in high school. Cute? Ok, cute.


	4. “IMPORTANT UPDATE”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an important update about this story!

Hello everyone, especially to the ones who subscribed to this series (which I’m highly thankful for)!  
  


_Torpe_ will be going under some plot changes & redrafting (it might even include a new title). The reason being that I don’t want to be releasing mediocre works, largely with some mature themes/ heavy topics. So I’ll be taking some time to rewrite _Torpe_ from the ground up.

Thank you to the ones patiently waiting for updates, don’t worry I still plan to release this story—hopefully in a better more thought out version.

Please, in the meanwhile, consider checking out **[Inutile de Discuter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25755445/chapters/62547511)** if you’re looking for something with heavy & mature themes.

I also have a Twitter you can checkout for updates or message me for questions or request: [ @cocobutternix](https://twitter.com/cocobutternix)

* * *

Again, thank you to everyone. I hope you stick around to see this project running again!

**Author's Note:**

> Tips? Questions? Leave a comment below and I’ll respond asap!


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